Depression is that thing that makes good things seem insignificant and bad things seem insurmountable. Depression makes sunny days too bright to bear and cloudy days too dreary to function. It matters not the weather, it is as if my heart is broken to start the day. It matters not the circumstances, or the people, or the place. No doubt, people help make it better. Those who love and encourage and support are invaluable. I am blessed to have so many of those people in my life. But, depression doesn’t have to have a reason. Sometimes, often in fact, my heart hurts and my brain can’t convince itself or my heart different.
There is one thing that brings always brings peace. Jesus. My soul has found rest in Him. Every. Single. Time. The truth that He is God, that He became man, lived a life free of sin, died on a cross, paid my penalty for sin, and rose again is the one thing, the thing, in which I hope. I find comfort in the words of the Bible for I have seen the promises fulfilled in my life and the lives of others. The truth of it resonates in every fiber of my being. And over and over and over again He shows up, comforts, brings peace, and guides my steps.
So, I do not speak or write about God or His Son Jesus because I think I know more than anyone else. I do not speak or write about Jesus to force someone else to believe as I do. I do not believe because someone told me too or because I think it is what I should do. I speak and write about the love of my life because He has saved me. My very being sings His praises. The core of who I am is sold out to who He is. There is no other motivation behind anything I write or say. Do I want you to believe? Of course, but not because I said so – because you have had a personal, intimate encounter with Him. Do I want to encourage you? Absolutely, I believe that is the gift He has given me. I pray that my writing gives others tools to know Him more, trust Him more, and be strong in Him. But the meaning of everything I write is just that I love Him and I want to share.